Trade in Mind, Trade in Body
by Yaji's Girl
Summary: After escaping Namek's destruction, Ginyu becomes head of the Son household and learns what it means to be a father and husband.


**A long one-shot about Ginyu taking Goku's place in the Son household, something that I wondered about after watching some DBZ Kai with my siblings. In one of the episodes, Gohan imagines what it would be like to have Ginyu as a father, and so... here it is. I realize that the chances of this story taking place are slim to none, though I hope you read it with an open mind. Bit of an AU, I suppose.**

Ginyu tossed and turned on the sofa that Chi-Chi, Goku's horrid concubine, had forced him to sleep on. He growled, a long, black horn ripping a hole in the back cushion of the sofa, just thinking about that woman. She obviously wasn't very good at her job if she made Goku sleep on the sofa, though he supposed that these Earthlings weren't very good at anything. He pulled the comforter spread over his body farther up his night shirt, the one that he had torn two holes in when trying to fit it over his horned head, a reason why he'd taken to wearing Saiyan armor so long ago.

The purple alien sat up slightly, elbowing his pillow violently. It wasn't fluffy enough for his tastes, though he supposed that comfort was a luxury in life, a luxury that Earthlings obviously couldn't afford. He sneered in distaste, his tiny nose wrinkling as he did so. First there was that concubine that didn't know how to do its job, and now there were this pillow filled with these tiny fluffy things that flew out every time he beat against it. He growled, not understanding how Goku could live in such a place. But this lifestyle would hopefully only last a week at most as he waited for that Saiyan to return. Yes, he would just wait, only having to endure this treatment for a few days at most. And then he would switch bodies with the Saiyan.

Ginyu smirked smugly as he lay himself down again, a horn drilled into the couch now. It had been on Namek that he had found that translator as a frog, being clever enough to be able to fit it back around his head again. Then he simply went and found his own body once more, flopping around the place foolishly, a disgrace to his body. But he switched back into his own body, quickly finding his old space pod. He had considered going back and helping in Lord Frieza's battle against Goku, but he figured that his master would need no such help. And by the way that the planet had begun exploding, deep rifts being drawn to its core, Ginyu figured that he needed to escape with his own life, or he could never be of any help. So he hopped into his space pod, shooting off once more with his course drawn to Earth.

It had been months before he reached his destination, and when he finally reached Earth, he met several hostile hosts there, not very welcoming at all. But using his cunning, he managed to trick them all into thinking that he was Goku, having had Ginyu switch bodies with him. And though the midget Saiyan with spiky hair had not trusted him, he had won over all of the others, all pitying him for being in such a beautiful body, for some reason. The only other opposition he faced was from Chi-Chi and Gohan, who was apparently Goku's little slave boy. They had been reluctant to let him into the house, but he had quickly won them over, too. Or at least they would look at him, though there was a strange look of disgust in their eyes, as if he was unclean. Probably just the reflection from his own eyes, though - these Earthlings were filthy.

Ginyu stretched out on the sofa, being too long for it and thus having his feet dangle off the end. Chi-Chi had forced him into these things they called pajamas here, and though he had to admit that they weren't the most horrid things, he wasn't used to having pants. After he had insisted that he keep those pants off, he noticed her stalk into the kitchen. She returned to the living room, wielding a certain something in her hand that night, something that Gohan had called the 'frying pan'. And it certainly did look like a rather threatening weapon, made of a certain alloy that Ginyu had never seen before. So he had simply backed away, submitting defeat. It was necessary that he play along with their strange standards and customs, lest he draw attention to himself. And he didn't want anybody to become suspicious before Goku's arrival, when he could switch into a far more powerful body. Then he could destroy them all, the only thought getting Ginyu through this night.

There had been one matter that Ginyu would not budge on, and that had been his scouter. That stupid concubine had tried destroying it, but he insisted that he keep it. And now he had it laying down on the coffee table, close in case he should need it. He had been keeping an eye on power levels, trying to discern whether or not there would be a body worth switching into before Goku's arrival. Earth power levels, however, seemed to fluctuate quite a bit. He had managed to catch that slave boy, Gohan's, power level at just over three hundred, but that was nothing.

Ginyu sighed as he laid on that sofa, hoping that good would come of this action. But before he could think any farther into just what he needed to do to prepare for Goku's arrival, whenever he would arrive, the lights flickered on from above. The alien groaned with pain, placing his large, clawed hands over his eyes to protect them. But nothing could shield him, he found out as he heard angry footsteps resound through the compound. And then there was the concubine, screaming, "Goku! What is this? What did you do?"

He lowered his hands and blinked several times to see the concubine hovering over him, pointing towards the rips in the sofa's exterior. He was glad that his eardrums hadn't burst from her shrill voice, but he couldn't help but feel anger at this nagging. The ferocity in her eyes he saw as she hovered over him, coming into focus as he adjusted his eyes to the light, was one worth beating her for. Had she just reprimanded her master?

But Ginyu couldn't draw suspicion to himself by beating her senseless for nagging him. So he simply contented himself by barking as he sat up, grabbing his scouter from the table, "I'll do whatever I want to." And he noticed Chi-Chi back off slightly, surprise on her face as he attached the scouter to his face, looking up to check her power level. Only four. Utterly useless, bring Ginyu to wonder how Goku had never torn her apart, but he didn't want to think about that. As he saw Chi-Chi stand there nervously, having never been pushed around by Goku, he asked, "Well, what are you doing just standing there? Go make yourself useful!"

He was annoyed. The concubine was just staring at him, that same disgust on her face that he had seen earlier. Then she turned around after giving a last pout, storming out of the room and into the next with a final huff. Ginyu sat there, readjusting his scouter on his head as he muttered, "Good riddance." Then he stood up from the torn-up couch, fluff and springs poking out from it, and stretched. It was morning, something he observed as he noticed the shaft of light peeking out from under the heavy curtains. And no morning was a morning without a good wake-up stretch, something he had had been doing for years now. It was lonely without a crew to follow his lead, but he figured that he could teach the slave boy a few moves later. Even that useless twig couldn't be so dense that he couldn't pick up some stretches.

And so he bent down in his ripped t-shirt and baggy, blue pajama pants, touching his feet with one hand at a time, the other being flung high into the air. He continued with this until he had reached a hundred, and then he switched to leg thrusts, alternating legs as he tried kicking them as high as possible. Finally, he swayed from side to side, his hands place firmly on his hips as he did so. He released a breath of contentment after doing so, looking up to see the slave boy standing in the doorway in awe.

"What are you looking at, kid?" Ginyu asked, his hands still resting on his hips. Gohan's jaw was dropped in awe, partly in shock that this whole thing with his dad being trapped in Ginyu's body wasn't part of a dream, and partly in shock that his father would actually stretch in such a flamboyant manner. It was as his worst nightmares had been on Namek, when he had been left wondering just what it would be like, his father being trapped for eternity in that horrendous body.

Ginyu simply shrugged as the boy didn't say a word, deciding to go into the kitchen, hungry. And it wasn't until he walked in that he could smell some strange Earth food, though he had to admit that the smell was tempting. He saw giant stack of flattish cakes, being what seemed like fifty stacked each on two plates, with what smelled like meat in crumpled strips lying in a huge pile in the center of the table. And then there was one far smaller stack of those flattish cakes, only two of them resting on a plate. Chi-Chi had just pulled out that stool for herself, turning to Ginyu and saying a little brusquely, still hurt from how he had treated her earlier, "Go tell Gohan that breakfast's ready."

There was no need to, however, as Gohan was right behind Ginyu, and the alien watched as the slave boy sat at the table, delving into one of the larger stacks. Ginyu watched with mild interest, wondering why Goku allowed the two slaves to sit on the same level as himself. Lord Frieza wouldn't even let him eat at his level, and Ginyu wasn't even a slave. Though he supposed that being a slave on Earth was far better than being a space slave, having witnessed the intergalactic slave-trafficking system before. It certainly wasn't one that he wanted to mess with.

Ginyu decided to pull up the chair before the large, round table, placing the napkin into his shirt and grabbing the fork and knife immediately, tackling the stack of floppy cakes. And he found himself enjoying them, especially after he discovered a dish of this strange substance called syrup, something that seemed to be rather sugary. He drenched the stack with it, drowning the cakes with the stuff. He attacked and stuffed his face with the floppy cakes, going at them at about the same speed as Gohan was his, forcing Chi-Chi to murmur, "At least his appetite's normal." But Ginyu ignored the concubine, finishing his plate off and grabby a glass of this foamy, white substance. It seemed familiar, and it was as soon as he took a swig of it that he smiled.

"Milk!" he exclaimed, having quite an affinity for the stuff. He took the jug from the middle of the table and drank it, much to the displeasure of the concubine. But she remained silent for once, watching as he set the glass jug down and pointed to the crumpled strips of reddish meat sitting in the center of the table in a large dish. He pointed to it, asking, "Human meat?"

Chi-Chi's face fell in disbelief as Gohan said incredulously, "It's bacon, Dad." Dad? So the slave boy was his son, too? Who knew that Goku had it in him to enslave his own son? But his mind didn't linger long on that, glad that these people weren't barbaric enough to eat their own race. Though enslaving one's own family was amazing enough - next he would find out that the concubine was really Goku's wife.

"What kind of an animal is 'bacon'?" Ginyu inquired, wiping his face off with the napkin stuffed in his shirt. He plucked a strip from the large mass, staring at it with uncertainty. It flopped around, the grease rubbing off on his purple fingers. But he decided to take a bite of it anyway, satisfied with the rubbery texture, thus plunging into the pile and not noticing the confused expressions the concubine and the slave boy were exchanging.

"Really, Goku don't you remember that bacon comes from pigs?" Chi-Chi asked, her nose wrinkled in disdain as she saw the pieces of bacon that were falling into Goku's lap. He certainly hadn't picked up any manners while gone, and it seemed as if he was even more clueless than normal. She couldn't believe that this monster was actually her husband, but she couldn't stop loving him just because he was trapped inside of a hideous body now. No, she had to treat him the same that she had always treated, perhaps even taking to sleeping with him again. But she grimaced at such a thought - she had forced him on the sofa that night because she knew she wouldn't be able to stand waking up to his horrendous face in the morning. And now she could only wonder just what had happened to him on Namek, if he had been hit over the head a few times during his stay there.

But Ginyu stopped shredding the bacon in his sharp teeth, looking down at the piece still in his hand. It seemed odd to him that they had different names for foods. Where he came from, they called food on the table the same thing as they called food in the wild. A pig alive would have been a pig dead, just as an Arlian alive was still called an Arlian after being roasted. But he supposed that this was some strange Earth custom, one that he would just have to adapt to for a few days.

He finished off the whole dish of the strange bacon substance, pushing it away and patting his stomach with satisfaction. He had to give the concubine credit where credit was due, thus forcing him to admit that she was certainly better at cooking than what she was paid to do. But he wasn't one to argue, knowing that Earthlings were strange. He would only have to deal with them for a little while longer, keeping up this ruse of actually being Goku. But it was hard work, he found out, as Gohan asked tentatively, "Do you want to go train some, Dad?" It would take a while before he could get used to the idea of this monster being his father, but he was already finding it to be easier than it had been just the night before.

Ginyu eyes sparked at this idea, though Chi-Chi didn't look as eager. She set her fork down fiercely on the table, having finished off her own pancakes after munching at them slowly, having been so absorbed by Goku's repulsive manners. But she had to put her foot down, waggling her finger at the two of them and saying, "Oh no. Gohan, you've been gone for too long! You're falling behind on your studies!" And she stood up, scooping up a few plates and turning to the sink.

"But Mom..." Gohan whined, only to be cut off.

"No, Gohan," she said, her voice final as she began running the water. Ginyu, however, wouldn't put up with the concubine bossing around his, or rather, Goku's, slave boy. He stood up, the table rattling as he did so, drawing Chi-Chi attention back to him once more.

"The boy will train with me," Ginyu demanded, knowing that this would be a perfect oppurtunity to teach the boy some new tactics. He knew that it was essential for any warrior to wait at least thirty minutes before training, but the prospect excited him too much. He wanted to do something other than watch that boy huddle over his books, the useless things they were. He thought that while he was here, he might as well have fun with the boy, seeing as the rest of his force was dead. It was lonely, being the sole survivor of his group.

The faucet turned off as Chi-Chi turned around, shooting daggers for eyes at who she believed was Goku. She placed her fists angrily on her hips after flicking her hands dry, saying, "I told you, he will not be training today." The snarl on her face shocked Ginyu, but it was nothing he couldn't deal with.

"He will train with me," the purple alien insisted, jabbing his forefinger threateningly at the concubine.

"No, he won't," she growled, leaning in closer, more threateningly. Usually Goku would have caved by now, but something was wrong. Goku certainly wasn't acting like Goku, and she wondered if it had something to do with being trapped in that body.

"He will," Ginyu said, his voice final as he watched Chi-Chi leer at him. Gohan's eyes darted between the two parents, surprised that his father was actually sticking up for him. He would usually just give into his mother, but not anymore. He wondered if the thinner air on Namek had done something to his father, but he wasn't about to speak up. No, he was pleased that somebody was sticking up for him, especially when his father grabbed him roughly by the arm and muttered, "We're going."

Chi-Chi pursed her lips, barely suppressing her anger before yelling, "You had better get back here, Gohan! And I can't believe you're deliberately disobeying me, Goku!" But the two left, father and son, through the door. And she started furiously scrubbing at the dishes, cracking a few with her anger. She finally threw down her sponge, sighing as she leaned against the counter, fatigued already. Goku was being far more aggressive than she had ever seen him, making her wonder if she had ever really known him. If one trip to a foreign planet could change him so much, so quickly, then how could she be sure that he was that same man she had married?

Gohan skidded on one foot, being jerked by the alien he believed to be his father. But he didn't mind, even as his father's grip was too tight for comfort. He was still amazed that his father had stood up for him. It amazed him, bringing him to only look up to his father's ugly, purple head in awe. His father certainly was acting weird, but he couldn't help but think of it as being a good weird. Gohan smiled slightly as they stood still on the front lawn, Ginyu releasing the boy from his grip.

"Th-thanks, Dad," Gohan said unsteadily, a nervous laugh being thrown out there. Ginyu only scoffed, hiding his amusement. If only the boy knew that it wasn't really his father standing before him, gracing him in a new body. No, it was Ginyu, captain of the Ginyu Force. But that was something Gohan didn't have to know, not until Goku returned to Earth. Then, after switching bodies, he would turn everybody against this body, allowing them to tear Goku up. And though he would hate to see his body destroyed, it would be worth it to be able to ascend to a new height of power.

Ginyu started going through a round of stretches similar to those he had performed after just having woken up, grunting, "Now follow my lead. Son." The last word was foreign coming from his mouth, and it seemed that it had shocked Gohan, too, by the way that he was staring hesitantly at the purple alien. But he eventually gave in, going through a round of dance-like poses to warm up, being left to wonder just where his father had picked up such techniques. Wherever he had gotten them, he didn't like them. He hoped that it was just a phase his father was going through, especially as one position required that they hold up their rear ends for more than half a minute at a time.

It was after having had enough of these stretches himself, Ginyu finally stopped the two, holding his arm out to catch Gohan as he just about fell over, already exhausted from this bizarre warm-up. Then, after assured that the boy was able to balance on his two feet, he leapt back and held his arms out threateningly, yelling, "Now fight!"

Gohan nodded, glad to be able to exercise his skills once more. He also jumped back, before lunging towards Ginyu, making the first strike. And though Ginyu managed to block it, he couldn't help but admire the strength behind the blow. The two, father and son, continued sparring, neither able to get a clean hit on the other. This continued for a matter of minutes before Ginyu managed to knock Gohan down, swinging at his unguarded feet and knocking him off of his balance. Gohan rubbed his back before standing right back up, eager to get back into the battle. But Ginyu was curious after having seen the fight the boy was putting up. He had become considerably stronger since the last time they had met, drawing Ginyu's curiosity.

"Power up for me," Ginyu demanded, placing a hand to his scouter. Gohan cocked his head, a little confused, but complied to his father's request. He clenched his small fists together, focusing his energy on his power. And Ginyu's mouth fell open as he read the number rising on his scouter, surprised by just how powerful the boy had become. His power level increased as the ground shook, rocks trembling as they rose from the ground. Ginyu's eyes widened as the level shot past 50,000, past 100,000. He placed his hand firmly against the side of his scouter, wondering if the scouter was malfunctioning as the boy's power level soared past his own of one 120,000. And he blinked several times as the scouter stopped at 165,000.

Incredible. The boy was stronger than he was.

He regarded the boy carefully through the green lense as his breath shuddered, Gohan powering down and saying, "Sorry it's not that high. I'm only really strong when put under pressure." And the abashed expression on the slave boy's face as he looked towards his feet, ashamed of not being strong enough before his father, was almost endearing to Ginyu's heart. But Ginyu was not an endearing person, and he saw Gohan's humility as not something adorable, but rather as something vital. There was no reason to wait around for Goku if he could have a power level like that, he reasoned.

Gohan looked up, still breathless from raising his power so quickly, only to be shocked by what he saw. What had seemed like a decent expression on Ginyu's face had changed into an evil one, the one that he remembered so well from when he had encountered the alien on Namek. And Gohan immediately realized that this wasn't his father at all. This was the one and only Captain Ginyu, the one that had been in charge of that terrible gang, the one that his real father had saved him from. And he saw that same lust for power on Ginyu's contorted expression, twisted as he stared at the small boy before him.

"How did you increase your power level so quickly?" Ginyu asked, tossing the scouter on the ground so he could retrieve it when in his new body. But Gohan only winced, curling his fists up. This alien didn't even look like his father, but he couldn't help but feel nervous about swinging a punch at him. Ginyu had even been so kind as to stick up for him that it would feel rude to fight him in a non-friendly manner, but Gohan didn't see any alternative. He kept silent, edging around him with his arms put up defensively. But Gohan had lost all confidence, knowing that he was fighting one of the worst aliens in the whole universe. It sure was a heck of a lot easier to concentrate when he imagined this to simply be a friendly spar between his father and him.

"Too afraid to talk?" Ginyu jeered as he examined the body that would soon be his. He refused to punch it, less he weaken it, so he contented with the tactic of fear to deal with the slave boy. But to his misfortune, Chi-Chi chose that moment to run out, bearing a pan in hand after the house had shaken with what felt like an earthquake, only having been Gohan powering up. But her expression was one of disbelief as she noticed the malicious expression on the alien's face, the one who she still thought was Goku, even as he yelled, "Stay back, you filthy concubine!"

"What did you call me?" Chi-Chi seethed, exploding with anger. That was the last straw - Goku wouldn't get to even sleep on the sofa that night. It was outside for that man from then on.

Gohan seized with fear for his mother, yelling, "Mom! Watch out!" But it was too late, as Ginyu already swung an arm back, knocking her off of her feet and into a clump of bushes. But that was the last straw for Gohan, not able to put up with anybody striking his mother. So he sped forth, ready to attack Ginyu with all of his might, though it was too late.

Ginyu watched the approaching figure and quickly yelled, "CHANGE NOW!" A beam of light shot from his mouth, having Gohan freeze in fear, watching the beam that would be his doom. But so quickly, more quickly than anybody had been able to see, Chi-Chi leapt back up to her feet and whacked Ginyu across the face with her frying pan, twisting his head around so that he the beam was not facing her little boy anymore, but so that it was facing the trees. And nobody could tell exactly what he had switched bodies with as he froze in mid-air, the beam of light connecting with something in the forest.

Gohan watched in awe as Ginyu dropped back down to the ground and began writhing around desperately in his pajamas. Chi-Chi's eyes glanced from the frying pan that was still ringing from having struck her foe squarely on the jaw down to the pitiful thing, unable to believe that she had actually resorted to using her frying pan on the pathetic alien. Ginyu's arms were pressed to his side as he wriggled mindlessly in place, his eyes vacant of expression or thought. The two could only watch in wonder of what just happened, though Gohan imagined he had a fairly accurate idea of what he had switched bodies with.

It wasn't a hard decision for the pair of them, and they settled on giving Ginyu's body to Vegeta to use as a tool of practice, who was gloating on how right he was to have never trusted the creature. Chi-Chi was depressed that Goku had not actually returned, though Gohan couldn't help but feel some relief that the alien wasn't his father. There was still one matter that bothered him, though, and that was finding the body that Ginyu was hiding in now. He had scoured through the forest, though the thing was so small, he supposed it would be just about impossible.

But he was looking in the wrong place. Having dug his way deep into the dirt of the forest, a certain earthworm escaped the searching eyes of Gohan, as he would be humiliated if anybody ever found him. He knew that one day he would get his revenge on Goku, whether it be by hiding in a plucked apple or scaring his concubine by jumping out of some dessert she was creating. It might take years, but Ginyu had years to wait, or at least until this weak body died. He would extract his revenge.


End file.
